Peas & Carrots

One of the items on my Nesting List (things to accomplish before this baby girl arrives) is to get up-to-date on our photos (uploading to Kodak Gallery to share with family, putting in albums, etc). This is a gargantuan task....one that I don't necessarily enjoy. EXCEPT for when I find photos that I forgot about.....

THIS is my darling Kenzie Snooter. An absolute love of my life. My furry soul mate. She has the most soulful eyes I've ever seen in any dog (and trust me when I say that I've been around a LOT of dogs in my life). She understands me and I like to think that I understand her. When I'm down or sick, she seems to know just what to do to pick me up again. Just her very presence is comforting to me. I know that a higher power was working hard the day I walked into a local PetsMart and saw this sweet little beast peeking out of her crate. I turned to my husband and said, "I will not leave this store without this dog", and I didn't. Whatever led me to that store on that particular day....whatever led me to lean down and peek inside that crate....whatever drove me to adopt her, even at an inopportune time in our lives....whatever has happened in the time between April 15, 2000 and today.....I know ALL OF IT was meant to be. I don't understand a lot of things in life but I will always know that Kenzie and I were meant to cross paths in this life. She will always be a HUGE highlight in my life....no matter how long I live and/or what happens between now and my last day on Earth. Kenzie is now 11 years old (a miracle, for sure!) and I work on mentally preparing myself for the day when she's not with me any more. But I don't worry too, too much about it because I know we will meet again. Crossed souls like ours.....well, they are destined to meet again. Some time, some place. She'll never be far from me!

Kenzie & Hubbell. Sister & Brother. Don't they look alike? The very sight of the two of them together makes me melt. I just adore them both.

Kenzie & I? Well, yes, we go together like peas & carrots.

Welcome Spring!!!

I am SO THRILLED that Spring has finally arrived. Who else is with me? We spent a good part of the weekend working in the yard and planting flowers, veggies, etc.... Alain also took a long time cleaning up Sophie's playhouse and water/sand table. My darling husband also granted my wish and made virgin margaritas for me to enjoy out on the deck Saturday night. It is so nice to be able to spend so much time outside again. Aahhhh.....

Alain, Sophie (with monkey face) and Hubbs enjoying the newly cleaned playhouse!

Happy First Day of Spring to my friends & family!!!

LSP: Ice Skating!!!

I don't know about you but, when I was small, I really loved ice skating!!! Recently the mom of one of Sophie's friends mentioned that there's a modern, clean, nice ice skating center not too far from home and that they offer ice skating lessons. Well, it didn't take long for me to sign Sophie up for classes. This weekend was our second week and, I have to say, I think Sophie really likes it. Here are some shots of her first class and those first timid attempts at skating....

Dad helps Sophie get all wrapped up....

Soph's first attempts to "march" across the rink.

Practicing the "Dip"

Soph with her instructor. I don't know if you can tell from this lousy photo but she's grinning from ear to ear. We saw a lot of that....

The hardest part for me is knowing that I won't be able to skate with her until at least August or so. I REALLY look forward to ice skating with my girl.... For me, and hopefully for Sophie, ice skating is one of Life's Simple Pleasures!

First Letter Down!!!

On Monday I mailed my first letter. I decided to write one of my college suitemates, a good friend of mine through the years. We fell out of touch during the summer of 2009 and it was TOTALLY MY FAULT! To make a real statement and apology, I decided a handwritten letter would make a stronger impression. I keep thinking that she'll receive it today and I imagine her surprise and, hopefully, joy. I think I'm going to like this challenge....

Image via this Etsy shop.

52 Weeks, 52 Letters

Today I was so thrilled to come across this "challenge". (Hey, I've always warned you that I arrive a little late to the game sometimes.) Even though I appreciate today's technological advances (I try, I really do!), I can't help but keep feeling that we're losing something. A heartfelt email is nice but nothing warms my heart like handwritten correspondence in my mailbox. I literally want to do cartwheels each time I get a handwritten letter, postcard, invitation......well, anything really. I have ridiculous amounts of stationery that I've accumulated over the years and this will give me the perfect opportunity to put some of it to good use. What's one skipped TV show if it means putting a smile on someone's face? I'm actually looking forward to doing this, at least for the moment. It might get a little challenging this summer with a newborn but, according to the rules, handwritten thank you cards and the like should count. :-)

Anyone care to join me?

Be sure to check your mailbox!!!

The Big Sister!

As you might imagine, one of the greatest parts of this pregnancy has been sharing it with Sophie. Due to my history and my fear of something being wrong with the baby, we didn't share the news with her until after the four month mark. We had intended to wait longer but during one pleasant Saturday morning breakfast we decided we couldn't wait any longer. The thought of telling Sophie was just too exciting! My darling husband, who is one of the world's biggest sentimental shmucks, began telling her but started to get emotional. So I finished the job. It took a moment to sink in for Soph. Then her eyes started to get bigger and she started to grin....

Her very first question? "Will my little sister go to my school?" Yes she will, for a few months, until you start kindergarten was our reply. She was delighted!

Her second question? "Mommy, how does the baby come out of your belly?" Oh, the dreaded question. To which I replied.....Well, you see, Mommy has to push really, really hard to get the baby out. "Does it hurt?" Well yes, it hurts a lot but my doctor will be there to help out and she can give me medicine if it hurts too much. Under the table, I was wrenching my hands. I was so scared she would ask me WHERE I pushed the baby out. To my surprise, that question never came. It still hasn't to this day.

One of the reasons I had decided last August to stop trying for a baby was because I also thought that the age difference between Sophie and a possible younger sibling was getting to be larger than I would want. Boy was I wrong. It hurts to think about all that I would have missed out on. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how much a part of this whole process Sophie is. It's not just between Alain and I. She understands everything. She asks the most interesting questions. I love the pride on her face when she tells other people that "Mommy is growing a baby in her belly". I love her smile when people ask if she's going to a good big sister and she replies Yes.

All my life I've wished I had a sister. Every woman I know who doesn't have a sister tells me the same. So I am THRILLED on Sophie's behalf that she will have a sister.....a sister just like I always wanted. As with any parent, I just hope that they are close and that they have a good relationship. I know it's mostly luck but I'll do everything in my power to steer them in the right direction.

I am so very lucky that things have turned out this way. I'm so happy that Sophie is four and a half. I don't mind the almost five-year age difference that will exist between my two children. I am delighted that Sophie will perhaps remember some of this and will most likely always remember the day her baby sister was born. I still count my little brother's date of birth as one of the happiest in my life (yes, even though he wasn't the sister I'd dreamed of!). Most of all, I'm so happy that I am "growing a baby in my belly"....a little sister for the soon-to-be, sure-to-be wonderful BIG SISTER SOPHIE.

Here We Go (& GROW!) Again....

Life is full of surprises. Good ones and not so good ones. Well, in early November, I had a HUGE surprise. What was it? A positive pregnancy test. Yes, a positive pregnancy test. And I was shocked beyond belief. Why? Well, in August, I'd told my husband I didn't want to try anymore. After losing a couple of babies in the previous year, I didn't want to experience any further loss, didn't want to suffer through any more D&C surgeries. So we took the proper steps to prevent a pregnancy and I started making other plans for my life. Can you imagine my surprise when I wasn't feeling well and took that test to find a positive result? Listen, I studied biology on a graduate level for a few years. I know ALL about the birds and the bees. But I'm still not exactly sure how this pregnancy came to be. Did I have a fun night with a few too many glasses of wine? No, not that I can recall. This had to happen in October. And I clearly remember October. I went to Atlanta to visit a dear friend of mine and I remember thinking it would be a "safe month" because I'd be gone during the, uh, "ripe time". Well, I was wrong.

And I couldn't be more happy to have been wrong. I'll admit that, at first, I wasn't exactly pleased. I thought it was a safe assumption that I'd just end up losing another baby. I didn't want that hurt and disappointment and possible surgery time again. I'd also started making plans to go back to work. In my mind, I was headed in a direction full force, thinking I was totally done with being pregnant and having babies. My disbelief lasted a while. I kept making other plans while I awaited bad news at each doctor appointment. It was only during the third ultrasound, at around 12 weeks, that I actually allowed myself to look at the little baby on the screen. WOW! This is my second time around but I'd forgotten how fully formed these munchkins are at that early stage. And I saw and heard that wonderful heartbeat, the one thing those previous babies I'd lost just never had. That day I had no choice but to sit up and take notice and accept that this just might be the one pregnancy that would work out.

After a little scare and a CVS test (which went VERY WELL and was not at all scary, thank you!), I am now 20 weeks along. Yes, half way through. I had the anatomical ultrasound last week and this baby girl (yes, another girlie for us ~ YAY!) looks wonderful. I think I'm finally breathing normally and may actually get to enjoy the last half of this pregnancy. My second little baby girl is crazy active and constantly giving me swift kicks to let me know that she's still there and doing fine.

Now that I'm here, I couldn't be any more pleased at how things have happened. For me, in my mind, this little girl is meant to be. At the right time and in the right place. Truthfully, even though I wasn't trying and even though I was busily making other plans, I could never make total peace with having only one child. I think there is NOTHING wrong with having an only child and Sophie is more than enough to make me happy for the rest of my life. But, to me, my family felt incomplete. I was trying really hard (!!!) but I just couldn't get there. From about two months in, I realized that, if this pregnancy worked out, I would have the peace I'd been seeking. And I do.

Welcome peace......please make yourself at home.....