In my life I've been pretty fortunate to have a strong sense of self. I've always known who I was, where I came from, where I was headed, what I wanted in my life. The only time this boat was rocked was when Sophie was born. Truthfully, I wasn't ready to be a mother. I didn't want to make all of the sacrifices it takes to be a good parent. Even more so, I did not want to relinquish my freedom. Ask anyone and they'll tell you that I had a very tough few years.
So you can imagine my surprise when my first reaction to the below picture was, "Oh there you are!". I was referring to myself.
This was my first moment at home with my two girls. It's not a great photo.....my shirt's all messed up, you can see my nursing bra and Soph's eyes are closed. Yet this is how, deep down, I always envisioned myself.
I think people don't talk honestly enough about their transitions to motherhood/parenthood. For some, I'm sure it's an easy and seamless transition. For others, like me, it rocks your entire world, your very being, to the core. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And I'm glad I now realize this for myself. I'm pretty sure I've made my peace with all of those hard times. They've only made me stronger and more resilient. Now I am only looking forward, with tons of joy in my heart, to the next chapters of the agony and the ecstasy of motherhood!
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