One Month

My dearest little Clara...

You are one month old today. I find it hard to believe that you've only been in my life for one month ~ to me, it seems like I have known you forever. Already I have a hard time recalling what my life was like before you joined it. And, honestly, why would I want to?

You are truly divine. I don't know what I did right in my life to deserve a baby as wonderful as you. When you wake up in the morning, and you look at me and hear my voice for the first time, you flash me a smile so big and so blinding that it lights up my entire soul. This smile is so big that your mouth is actually wide open. It is so heart warming. For someone who has never been a morning person (me!), you're certainly doing your best to change that! I love our morning time when we "chat" and you actually coo back at me when I speak to you. I didn't know a one month old could do that!

I love entering a room or space when you're hanging out with Daddy and your Big Sister.....when you hear my voice, your head actually turns toward it and follows the sound. I know it's because I have the boobs and I'm the milk source but I LOVE THIS and I will enjoy it for as long as it lasts.

Each day I see you develop little by little. Already your neck is stronger and you can hold your head up on your own. Your hand movements are a tiny bit more controlled each day and you're much better at getting those hands and fingers close to your mouth. Your umbilical cord finally fell off yesterday so we look forward to sharing a first bath with you tomorrow. Until today you haven't been very fond of your carseat and you often cry in the car. However, on the way to the library and pool today, you sat in your seat awake for 15-20 minutes before falling peacefully asleep. Mommy was doing silent cheers!!!

You've been very patient with Mommy as she worked out some breastfeeding issues and your weight gain had a slow start. I'm now happy to report that, in the last week and a half, we've noticed that you're really starting to fill out more. Your cheeks are more full and you have some sweet little rolls around your neck. I love to nuzzle and kiss this area and you often smile and coo when I do. Also, one of your most favorite things is when I caress your cheeks. In the first two weeks this was what I had to do to see your winning smile.

The first week at home was the toughest because you didn't sleep at night at all. I had five or six sleepless nights. While I'm very glad this has passed, I have to say that I really enjoyed those first nights with you. It was fun listening to music and singing my favorite songs to you. I especially loved singing "Here Comes The Sun" (yes, the Beatles song!) and "The Age of Aquarius" (one of my all-time favorites) as we watched the sun come up and our room got brighter and brighter. Those songs will now always remind me of you. Those nights were tough but I will always treasure the memories we created during our first days together.

Your Big Sister adores you. She draws pictures of the two of you together when she's at school. She is constantly begging to hold you and carry you and kiss you and feed you. It's been a hard transition for Sophie because she's had your Daddy and I all to herself for almost five years. Each day she seems to get a little bit better with her jealousy issues. Every time you cry she begs me to "milk you" so that you will calm down. It's sweet how much she doesn't like to hear you upset. When you cry in the car, she reaches over to hold your hand. She can be a little rough with you and this makes Mommy (and Daddy) very nervous but, overall, she's doing great. In time I think she'll be a wonderful Big Sister to you. She talks a lot about all the things she wants to share with you and teach you once you're bigger. It's very sweet. My heart feels all warm and cuddly when I see the two of you together or when you smile at Sophie and she gets excited. You're both so lucky to have one another and I love that I get to see your relationship grow and mature as you both get bigger.

Your Daddy is totally smitten with you and he kisses you constantly. He takes night duty with you most of the time to allow Mommy some good quality sleep. I can't tell you how unusual this is ~ I don't really know many other Daddies who would do this ~ you're a very lucky girl to have such a devoted father who loves his family so much. Daddy is taking a paternity leave so he's home with us every day ~ it's because of this that I'm able to breastfeed you and still take care of whatever else I have to do. For this I am eternally grateful. Most of all, I'm happy we have this time together. Daddy and I have had so much fun hanging out and getting to know you. Daddy is constantly saying how much he loves his "three girls". I love to see the two of you hanging out because Daddy's face lights up and he looks very happy!!!

I could continue to write for a lot longer but you are peacefully sleeping and this means I need to get to sleep as well....I have to take advantage when I can....

One month. I just can't believe it. I love you to the moon and back, Clara LuLu.