Kenzie Love

When Hubbell had his surgery on May 1st, I told Alain I wouldn't leave him again.  I knew his time was short and I wasn't going to miss a single day.  It was hard staying put for three months and it meant missing out on some important events.  For me, there was no other option and I'm glad I didn't miss one moment of Hubbell's last three months.  The only bad thing?  I couldn't come visit our Kenzie.  

Alain and I adopted Kenzie when she was four months old, in April of 2000.  We walked into a PetSmart, I saw her gorgeous face peeking out of a crate and I turned to Alain and said, "I'm not leaving this store without this dog."  She was our first baby and I feel sure she was meant to be mine. Spoiled rotten. I think she literally has a hundred nicknames.  Pumpkin muffin, puffin, Snoop, Love Puff,.....and it goes on.  But the one that sticks, the one that I use all the time is Kenzie Snooter.  That one stuck. It's just who she is!

When she was two years old, she suddenly got very sick.  There was a period of several months when I took her to the vet every single day to measure her blood levels.  She was really not well. For some reason, her immune system was attacking itself.  Noone, not even her vet, expected her to live to see age three. 

Eventually, I think a year or two later, she was diagnosed with atypical Addison's Disease.  Once we knew what we were battling, it was quite easy to treat her with medication.  However, she's always been rather sickly and we've jumped through hula hoops, bent over backwards, spent a fortune and somehow, sometimes through sheer luck, sometimes I'm sure only with our endless love for her, kept her alive.  

She will turn 14 in December.  

For those who don't know the history of why she doesn't live with us anymore, Kenzie bit Sophie in November of 2010. It was an awful time in our lives and I was traumatized. I never blogged about it specifically because I didn't really know what to say and I was so ashamed. I was afraid of the judgment of others.  Although I know there's nothing anyone could have said to make me feel worse than I already did.  It took MONTHS to get over it even a little bit. I still feel guilty and will always feel that I let both of my girls down. I thought I could watch them both 24 hours a day and that was naive. Lucky for all of us, my parents allowed Kenzie to come live with them.  They said yes before I could even get the words out to ask.  And I do believe they've come to love her as much as I do!  (Want proof?  I took all of these pictures tonight.....this is their couch and that new bed is one that they purchased for her.  She's a lucky girl!)

As an aside, we adopted Hubbell during Kenzie's second year.  I told Alain I wouldn't survive the loss of Kenzie unless I had another dog to keep me going.  Can you imagine?  In all those years, I couldn't envision that I would ever lose him first.  Still, you don't know how much I leaned on him when Kenzie moved out.  We became TIGHT, Hubbell and I. He helped to heal my heart and, in that respect, he did help me survive the loss of my furry girl.

(In the irony of life, I also found out I was pregnant with Clara the VERY NEXT MORNING after the biting incident. And that was a humongous surprise.....one that certainly helped to keep me going at the time!)

My parents have done an amazing job taking care of sweet Kenzie.  I say sweet but she's so rotten.  I used to always tell her that she's a dog only her mother can love!  She's as smart as a whip, totally dominant, commanding of attention and so, so darling.  Everyone always adored Hubbell and would gush over how wonderful he was (and he was totally deserving of all of it ~ a very special soul, as you know). But only one friend ever told me, "You know I love Hubbell but I have a special place in my heart for Kenzie!".  When you think you're going to lose a puppy so young, before she even gets a chance at life, you develop a special and strong bond.  

Kenzie is also now completely deaf.  Hubbell was blind and Kenzie is deaf.  I've learned from both of my dogs some serious perseverance and how to overcome handicaps and still enjoy and love life.  

  

Once Hubbell passed away, I immediately made plans to come and visit Kenzie.  It's certainly comforting to be around her although it's hard not having Hubbs around too.  Those two were a pair for so long.  

When the girls and I arrived in Lynchburg on Sunday, Kenzie was sprightful, playful and happy.  I am so grateful for that.  It's been wonderful spending some time with my furry girl!

I love you, my Kenzie Snooter!

A Butterfly Picnic

The girls and I are enjoying a small getaway to visit my parents and Kenzie. If I had to choose my favorite thing about my hometown (aside from my family being here!), it would be the close proximity to the mountains. A short 30 minute drive and you're smack dab in the middle of The Blue Ridge Parkway. We spent our afternoon at The Peaks of Otter. I often find it hard to get my fill of nature in Charlotte. Here, it's much easier.  As these pictures will attest....

  

 

 

 

 

On the drive home we discussed our favorite parts of the afternoon walk.  Hard choice.  The gravel pile was BIG for the girls.  I kind of liked the massive turtle in the lake. No, the mushrooms. Or maybe the ferns.  No, definitely the wildflowers. See what I mean?  But I think the butterfly meeting ~ no, the butterfly picnic ~ was something new for all of us!

Because Nature Is Just So Awesome!

Tonight Alain and I were out weeding a couple of beds (yes, I know you're jealous of our exciting Saturday night!) when Alain found a cicada shell lying on the ground.  Shortly after one of us noticed a cicada shell that was left behind on the branch of our tree. Then, of course, we noticed another....and then another.  I was amazed.  Mostly because I never heard the cicadas.  I thought they were only North of us this year.  How could I not get my camera and take some pictures?  If you haven't seen this cicada video, PLEASE WATCH IT and let your children watch it.  I may or may not have seen it about 10 times.  As I uploaded photos from my camera tonight, I thought they were gorgeous and wanted to share....

I went to change out the water in the bird bath and found some feathers floating around. It's nice to know the bath is being used. (It's not located in a spot where I can see it from the house.  We had to put it there because Clara was always messing with it and the top is not super secure!)

Only three days after my "deadheading" in Hubbell's garden, I went outside to find this tiny little Coreopsis bloom about to bust out. Amazing. It was so quick!

My basil plant has totally gone to seed. I can't even keep up anymore.  But I leave it because it attracts LOADS of bees.  And we all know how much I love my bee pictures!

My summer veggies are all dying out now (as you can see from the lovely brown leaves in the picture above).  Aaah, but the marigolds.  They are as large and vibrant as ever!

During a playdate last week Sophie and her friend took some birdseed out of the feeder and planted it in a pot.  She only told me about it a few days after when I asked why she was sneaking outside each day with a cup of water!!!  So far, six sunflowers are sprouting.  Now that's some good trouble to be getting into!

The little bloom that could!

And now for some cicada action....

  

Am I the only one who is so fascinated by these creatures?  (Well, at least I know one other person.....the guy who made that incredible video!  Did you watch it yet?)

I thought I'd part with a shot of one of my daylilies....from tonight at dusk.....so lovely and perfect.

Hope you're all having a lovely, peaceful, happy weekend!

What Sustains Me.....

It's hard to believe it's already been a week.  How did I make it?  All of these things helped sustain me....

~ THE feather.  I keep it on the dash of the car and, every time I look at it, I feel stronger.  Heaven help me if anything should ever happen to that feather.

~ All of the flowers that were left over from Clara's party.  They're spread throughout the house and they definitely lift my spirits!

~ The calls and emails and concern from our family members.

~ Last Thursday I decided to start a small memorial garden for Hubbell.  I have this run-down little flower garden by our back gate (when I tried to find a photo, I noticed that Hubbell was in  the background of this one!!!!).  I moved the girls' umbrella over to shield the sun. I kneeled down, started weeding and cried my tears into the dirt.   I cleaned and refilled the birdbath. I researched how to deadhead the few Coreopsis plants that are left so that maybe some new growth will appear.  I researched some flowering plants.  I know this will be therapeutic for me.  It already is.  It will be a long-term project because I am terrible at growing flowers but I'll hopefully post a follow-up in the near future.

~ The documentary, "Animal Odd Couples" (available on Netflix and/or preview available here).  Alain put it on one night and I thought my heart would literally burst watching it.  I couldn't stop laughing, smiling or crying.  While we were watching, Alain even said to me, "You and Hubbell were an animal odd couple."  Yes, I suppose we were.  Thank you, Alain.  That show cheered me up immensely ~ you must've known it would!

~ Scout is our lone pet now, at least in this house.  She sometimes chirps at me, sometimes flies around my head and still watches me from the back door when I'm out in the yard/garden.  She makes me smile!  (I will post on Atticus soon.)

~ My other "resident birds" come to the window feeder and sometimes they hang out for a while, even when I'm standing there.  I love to watch them ~ they warm my heart.

~ I stopped telling myself that I should temper my emotions, tears, etc out of fear that people will judge me over being this upset about "just a dog".  I don't really care if people think or say that.  Hubbell was my constant, constant companion and I will mourn him however I see fit.  When I have really hard moments, I light a little memorial candle by his picture.....that is now surrounded by cards from friends.  It's helped me a lot.  Those cards help me a lot!

~ My blogging friends.  Deb, Kay, Louise, Keith, Jan and Rebecca.  Your comments and emails are so precious ~ thank you for caring enough to write, check in on me, etc.

~ Deb sent me this sweet video of her turtle, Rexy (via Instagram). I wish you could have all seen me smiling.  What a sweet gesture!

~ I went to the library and got some new books.  I hadn't read a single page in a single book since May 1st, the day of Hubbell's surgery and the day we learned we'd lose him soon.  If I'm not reading, something is definitely wrong.  Well, I'm now reading "Failure Is Not An Option" by Gene Kranz.  It's amazing.  If you haven't seen the documentary series, "When We Left Earth", please watch it (available on Netflix and/or sometimes replayed on PBS stations).  I also checked out "The Girls of Atomic City" by Denise Kiernan (remember my fixation with the atomic race after reading this book?).   I was so thrilled with I saw this book on the library shelf!  Anyway, I'm reading again so I know I'll be okay! 

~ I wrote a very heartfelt letter to the woman who helped rescue Hubbell and who cared for him until he came to our home.  You can definitely say that she hand-picked him just for me because I was very insistent that I wanted another girl dog.  And she wouldn't back down.  She even tricked me into driving out to her house to meet Hubbell.  Well, of course, once I saw him and spent 30 seconds with him, he was ours!!!! Anyway, Kathy wrote to me all week, sent me a sweet card and then sent me a gardening stone with the words, "If My Love Could've Saved You, You Would Have Lived Forever" (Isn't that the truth?).  She's been an angel and has really looked out for me (just as she once looked out for my guy). She's the only other person I know who has "mothered" Hubbell so I feel a connection with her.  She knows just how special he was!  And she gave me the most precious and wonderful gift.  I feel so thankful.

~ I called the Golden Rescue where Hubbell came from.  I was a board member for several years but fell out of touch during my crazy working years and once I had children.  Well, guess what, I'm back on board to help again and it feels really good to know I might help other Goldens.  I know Hubbell would like that!

~ Last, and maybe most importantly, Alain decided to take some pictures of each of us as we said goodbye on Hubbell's last day.  At the time, I wasn't sure how I felt about this. It seemed a little morbid and I thought I'd never look at such depressing photographs.  Well, I owe a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE thank you to my sweet husband.  It took several days but I did finally look at the pictures.  Wow, it was so damned hard.  They are amazingly beautiful, raw, emotional, and SO FILLED WITH LOVE. I can't share them here out of respect for Hubbell's privacy and I just think they're way too intimate.  But I love these pictures with all of my heart.  I won't look at them often but, when I do, I will always feel thankful to have had a love that strong in my life.  For all of us. This family is so very lucky.