The Mockingbird Family

I spend a lot of time outside trying to capture photos of our resident birds.  Most of the time, I'm very lucky and get some good shots. I'm collecting them as I'm hoping to make a bird book for Sophie for her birthday.  Last week, I was out one afternoon and caught a baby mockingbird on the roof of our neighbor's playhouse....

I have to admit that I didn't know the baby was a mockingbird at first. But then I saw the parent on our compost wire......every once in a while, she'd (I'm guessing it's the Mom but I don't know for sure!) dive down into the pile and pull something out.  I kept watching....

.....and then she flew up to the playhouse roof and shared the goods with her sweet baby.

Her sweet baby is hard to please and Mom kept getting the funniest looks on her face.  No worries, Mama Bird, I know how you feel!

I ran inside to do something but came back out shortly after to find the baby on the fence.  Not long after, a second baby came along and I watched this little family for a long time.  They are so fuzzy and sweet!

It's such a pleasure having the mockingbirds around.  They sure do keep us entertained!!!

Spying on the Mama

Several weeks ago, while my Mom was visiting, we took Clara to our favorite local park.  I had my new camera and I decided I wanted to spy on this birdhouse.  While Mom entertained Clara on the playground, I planted myself under a nearby tree and waited.....

 

She came and went several times and I couldn't stop smiling as she popped in and out feeding her babies.

What a good Mama!!!

On Saying Goodbye / A Sacred Responsibility

In case you were worried by the post title, we have not lost Hubbell yet.  

He has recovered very well from his surgery. The biopsy did confirm that he has cancer and the doctor suggests that he has 3-6 months to live (comfortably).  However, as you know, Hubbell also suffers from Golden Retreiver Uveitis.  His remaining eye is quite bad and it is extremely likely that his eye/glaucoma will progress to a point of high pressure and pain before the cancer makes him uncomfortable again.  Our intention is to enjoy our time with him until it's clear to us that his "quality of life" is not there anymore.  I know my dog extremely well and I can tell when he's having a bad moment or he's uncomfortable.  At this point in time, his good days way outnumber any bad days. I can still walk into the room to find he's taken all of his toys out of his basket.  He'll still play tennis ball out in the yard.  He still eats like a champ. He shakes his tail at us like crazy. He still smiles. His life force is still amazingly strong.

I know this won't last long.  It's been three weeks since his surgery and I am honestly amazed that he's still with us.  I seriously believed we had about a week or so when I wrote this post.  There are simply no words in the English language to express how thankful I am for this additional time we've had with him.  I spoil him at any given moment I have available.  I tell him constantly all of the sweet things I feel for him in my heart.  If I'm away from home for more than about two hours, I start to feel panicky and sick and I have to return home to be with him.  Because I still can.  And I want to be sure that he's comfortable.  

I'm writing this post today because I spoke with the in-home euthanasia veterinarian and I feel extremely emotional.  I called her because I want to feel somewhat prepared.  There's also comfort in knowing what the process will be and that someone will be available for us when the time comes.  I have to be honest, I am so scared of that moment.  So scared.  But there is no way I would miss Hubbell's last few moments.  As Alain describes it, it's a "sacred responsibility".  Alain always does have a way with words that makes me feel more at ease.  

Everyone always tells me I'm a "strong person".  A friend even told me that this morning.  But, it's funny, whenever anyone tells me that, I always think to myself, "Wow, I sure do have them fooled".  And I feel that way now.  I keep asking myself how on Earth I'm getting through this.  I cry so much it's ridiculous (although never in front of Hubbell ~ although I know he can tell anyway!).  It's really a kind of torture to not know if we have one more day with him or several more weeks. We have no choice but to take it day by day.  I can't tell you how many people have said I just have to mentally prepare myself for what's coming.  Even the vets.  But I can tell you one thing now (and those who have been through this will probably agree), there is no way on Earth to mentally prepare yourself for this type of moment, for living through the moment when your loyal and beloved family member, your most faithful companion, your very best friend, takes his last breath.  The finality of it is so overwhelming.

Anyway, I have no point to this post. I guess writing it down is rather cathartic.  I want this blog here of mine to be a small/selected record of my life.  I hope my girls will go back and read it one day in the future and know what my life was like when they were young.  And this is clearly a HUGE moment in my life.  One that surely Sophie will remember.  And there a few things I'd want for Sophie & Clara to know:

~ that it's a gift to be with someone in their last moments of life, no matter how hard.

~ that it's important to take care of those who are older and/or sick, no matter how hard.

~ that you have to keep going even when you have a broken heart, no matter how hard.

~ that it takes courage to get through this type of life/death event, no matter how hard.

~ that it's okay to cry, no matter how hard.

~ that there is also beauty in saying goodbye, sadness and loss. 

And I guess I'm reminding myself of those things as well.

Oh Hubbs, we love and adore you to no end.  You are the sweetest soul.  

Sophie & Clara

My new camera is quite possibly my favorite thing ever.

Maybe because it's a better camera or maybe because I have it out so often but I have photos of my girls now that I absolutely adore.  Here are a few I wanted to share because these photos really seem to capture who they are right this moment.

 

Sophie lost her 8th tooth of Friday while she was at school.  She asked me to take these photos of her with a new empty spot in her smile. So glad she did.  She totally melts my heart.

 

And little Clara.  Always with an inquisitive look.  Always looking a slight bit mischievous to me. It's like she's wondering what she can get into next.  Not sure whether to smile or cry.  She's still such a baby.  And delicious.  I want to eat her up.

For my sweet family, thank you for my camera.  From the bottom of my heart.  It makes me so very happy!

Bird Fight

Sophie and I were hanging outside on Saturday when suddenly we could hear birds screeching at one another.  It was LOUD.  Soph and I went to investigate and found these guys really going at it.  I ran to grab my camera and tried to get some shots of them.  They were moving fast and it took a lot of attempts to get these few photos.  But I love them.  These birds are impressive with their displays and attempts to intimidate one another.  I can't help but wonder who won!!!

{This picture is definitely my favorite!}

{Not sure what's going on in this shot!}

{Very impressive, wouldn't you say?}

{Almost out of the frame but I still like this one!}

{Most of my shots looked like this.....}

Anyone know what type of bird this is?  Have you ever witnessed a bird fight like this?  If so, did you get any photographs?

Scout & Atticus popping in....

......to wish you a VERY HAPPY WEEKEND!!!!

Note: I took these pictures from our deck. When I'm outside, the birds love to fly over to the door and watch me through the window.  They chirp so loudly I can hear them out in the back of the yard.  On this day, I had my camera and was so happy to finally get some pictures of them while this was happening.

Scout & Atticus were at Uncle Jon and Aunt Leslie's with their five bird cousins while we were at the beach and while Hubbell was recovering from this surgery.....about three weeks in all (THANK YOU JON & LESLIE!).  Now that they're back, I realize how much I missed these feathery little beasts while they were gone!!!

Capturing Motherhood in a Photo

Big car. Little car.

PS ~ Thank you so much, Leslie!!!  Clara is totally smitten with the Coop.