If you dig a teeny tiny bit, just below the surface, you will see that this is one of the most non-typical Sundays we've ever had. Why? Well, it's our last day at home as a three-person family. Our baby girl still hasn't made an appearance and I will have to be induced tomorrow morning. This is not the outcome I'd hoped for but it's a decision we thought long and hard over and have made our peace with. My doctor's office will not allow anyone to pass the 42-week mark, not even by one day. You also can't be induced on a Saturday. So my choice was to be induced on Monday with my very own doctor or wait until Thursday/Friday and have a complete stranger deliver my daughter. I have to be honest and tell you that the whole induction thing scares me a little. I've often heard it's more painful (as if!) and that you're three times as likely to end up having a C-Section. Criky. At the same time, my doctors have assured me that I've already progressed so much that it should be a quick and "easy" induction. I can only hope that they're right. My body already shows every imaginable sign that labor is going to happen at ANY MOMENT. And, at the end of the day, if I have to be induced, I'll feel so much more comfortable with my doctor's friendly face there helping me out. SO.....
Here we are. Relaxing at home but KNOWING that it's the last day of reality as we currently know it. It's such a bizarre state of being. Cleaning took on a different meaning today. It wasn't just the normal obligatory cleaning.....it was thinking that this baby girl deserves to come home to a nice, tidy, clean home. The laundry even felt different. It was a matter of saving myself from having to do it when we get home from the hospital. Instead I can spend that time cuddling and getting to know daughter #2. The errands took on a more important sense of urgency. It's peace of mind knowing that there's plenty of food for us and our beloved animals. As a bonus, thanks to Mom, Alain and I even got to enjoy a lunch alone today. A true luxury at any time but even more so knowing that our family grows by one tomorrow.
You could also say that I'm more emotional today. I can't help it. I now know for sure that today is my last day alone with Sophie. Starting tomorrow she will have to share my attention with her little sister. Her little world will be turned upside down. Even though I know what it's like to bring a new baby home, she has no idea. At the same time, my excitement for her is overwhelming. Tomorrow she will gain a sibling, a baby sister. My hopes for them, for their relationship, are so high. It all starts tomorrow. I can hardly believe it.
And this baby. This baby. We've been through a lot to get to this point. Several miscarriages. A lot of disappointment and worry. A moment of giving up. A big, happy surprise. Some concerns about the baby's well-being early in the pregnancy. A more difficult pregnancy than my pregnancy with Sophie. Our second overdue baby (our girls really do like to make us wait!). Now, only 16 hours left to wait...
More than anything, I look forward to having this baby come out and finding out that she's healthy. That is my biggest hope for tomorrow and I look forward to flushing that concern away. Secondly, I just can't wait to see her little face, her body, her lovely little hands and feet. Will she look like her sister? How will the experience be different? Will she have hair (oh how I love babies with loads of hair!)? What will happen when Sophie lays eyes on her for the first time? There are so, so, so many thoughts, feelings, questions floating through my mind.
So, as you can now see, this is not a typical Sunday. Not typical but oh so beautiful in so many ways. And I will enjoy every single solitary moment of it.....knowing that my life will only grow and become more full and enriched and overflowing with love tomorrow. Tonight, when I lie down for my last peaceful sleep for a while, as my head hits the pillow, I will whisper Sweet Dreams to my life as I know it.
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