Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day 2011

For me, Mother's Day is a day that brings a lot of reflection.

I reflect back on my own 4 1/2 years as a mom to Sophie. I think of my own mother. My grandmothers. My aunts. My mother-in-law. My sisters-in-law. My friends. The mother that Sophie will possibly one day become. Same for Baby Girl #2. I think of all the mothers who came before me, all the mothers who exist out in the world. I also think of my friends who aren't mothers to little humans (whether by choice or by not finding the right partner or by infertility) but mother their furry kids with as much love, attention, devotion and adoration as those of us with human babies.

And you know what? I have so much respect for all of us. Motherhood is truly the hardest thing I've ever done. The greatest challenge. A source of much frustration on certain days. At the same time, it's changed my life in a million different ways. Made me a different person. I might even say a better person. My happiness, which was always there, has a sweeter quality to it. I never knew the sacrifices I'd have to make to be a good mother to Sophie. I had no idea. This is a good thing. I know damn well that I wouldn't have entered into parenthood had I known what was in store. Give up my career that I've worked so hard to build, that I'm so proud of, that means everything to me? Um, negative. Send my furry soul mate, my first baby girl, to stay with Grandma & Grandpa because she and her human sister are not, in any way, compatible? Not just no but HELL NO.

But I guess that's the beauty of life. I was clueless. I didn't know and I willingly made the choice to have child(ren). Had I not I would never have known this experience. And I am definitely the type of person who wants to experience just about everything that life has to offer! I would have spent the remainder of my life wondering what it would have been like. Wondering what my children would've looked like, who they might have become, if they would've been like me. I'd never have created another human being that is a crazy little mixture, a delicious concoction, of myself and Alain. Alain had a tiny little health scare last year and, at times, I was a little frantic considering the worst-case scenarios. The one thing that made me calm and brought me solace during that time was knowing that I had Sophie in my life. A tiny little version of her father. A flesh and blood reminder of this great love that I share with him.

I know for sure that I would've ended up one of those women in my 50's wondering why the hell I never had children and regretting my choice/decision. No need to think about that anymore ~ I was lucky and things worked out for me. I have an amazing daughter. I have another one due in two months. And they mean absolutely EVERYTHING to me. I can't imagine a life without them in it. Well, I can but I don't want to. My life is richer, happier, more meaningful because they are a part of it.

The images above are from the card Sophie gave me this morning when I woke up. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I hope she feels that way always. God knows I will do my best to make her always feel that sentiment is matter how big the challenge, no matter how great the sacrifices!

So on this day, as all these silly thoughts roll around in this big noggin, I want to wish all of you ~ including my own mom ~ a very happy, wonderful, most glorious Mother's Day. You all deserve it!!!

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